Rif Nedarim 7a {Nedarim 21b - 23b}

7a

{Nedarim 21b continues}

ההוא דאתא לקמיה דרב אסי א"ל כדו תהית א"ל אין ושרייה
ההוא דאתא לקמיה דרבי אלעזר א"ל בעית נדור א"ל אי לא מרגזין לי לא בעינא כלום אמר לו תהא כבעית
ההיא אתתא דאדרתא לברתה אתאי לקמיה דרבי יוחנן א"ל אילו ידעת דאמרין מגורתא עלך אי לא דחמית בברתא מילי דעזיבא בכדי לא אדרתה מי אדרת א"ל לא ושריה
בר ברתין דרבי ינאי סבא א"ל אילו ידעת דפתחין פנקסך וממשמשין בעובדך מי נדרת א"ל לא ושריוהו.

There was one who came before Rav Assi. He said to him: Do you not regret? He said to him, "yes." And he permitted him.
There was one who came before Rabbi Eleazar. He said to him, "do you desire you vow?" He said to him, "Had they not angered me, I would not desire anything." He said to him: Is should be as you desire.
There was a woman who imposed a vow upon her daughter. She came before Rabbi Yochanan. He said to her: Had you known that your neighbors would say upon you,
{Nedarim 22a}
"had she not seen something shameful, she would not have imposed a vow," would you have vowed? She said to him, "no," and he absolved her.
The son of the daughter of Rabbi Yannai the elder {came before him}. He said to him: Had you known that they open your ledger {for vowing} and examine your deeds, would you have vowed? He said to him, "no," and he absolved him.

רבן גמליאל פתח לההוא סבא יש בוטה כמדקרות חרב ולשון חכמים מרפא
כל הבוטה ראוי לדקרו בחרב אלא שלשון חכמים מרפא

Rabban Gamliel opened for a certain old man: {Mishlei 12:18}:

יח יֵשׁ בּוֹטֶה, כְּמַדְקְרוֹת חָרֶב; וּלְשׁוֹן חֲכָמִים מַרְפֵּא.

18 There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword; but the tongue of the wise is health.

Anyone who speaks {a vow} is worthy of being pierced by a sword. Except that the tongue of the wise heals.

תניא רבי נתן אומר הנודר כאילו בנה במה והמקיימו כאילו הקריב עליו קרבן
אמר שמואל הנודר אפילו קיימו נקרא רשע
א"ר אבהו מאי קרא וכי תחדל לנדור לא יהיה בך חטא ואתיא חדלה חדלה כתיב הכא וכי תחדל וכתיב התם שם רשעים חדלו רוגז א"ר אשי אף אנן נמי תנינא כנדרי כשרים לא אמר כלום כנדרי רשעים נדר בנזיר כו'.

They learned {in a brayta}: Rabbi Natan says: One who vows, it is as if he built a private altar, and one who kept it, is as if he sacrificed a korban upon it.
Shmuel said: One who vows, even if he fulfilled it, is called an evildoer.
Rabbi Abahu {our gemara: Rabbi Abahu} said: From this verse: {Devarim 23:23}:

כג וְכִי תֶחְדַּל, לִנְדֹּר--לֹא-יִהְיֶה בְךָ, חֵטְא.

23 But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee.

It is via a link of forbear - forbear. It is written here {Devarim 23:23}:

כג וְכִי תֶחְדַּל, לִנְדֹּר--לֹא-יִהְיֶה בְךָ, חֵטְא.

23 But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee.

and it is written there {Iyyov 3:17}:

יז שָׁם רְשָׁעִים, חָדְלוּ רֹגֶז; וְשָׁם יָנוּחוּ, יְגִיעֵי כֹחַ.

17 There the wicked cease from troubling; and there the weary are at rest.

Rav Ashi {earlier, and in our gemara: Rav Yosef} said: Even we also learn it, in the Mishna: "like the vows of the wicked," it is a vow for a Nazirite ... {, for a sacrifice and for an oath}.

{Nedarim 22b}

א"ר אסי אין נזקקין לאלהי ישראל חוץ מקונם אשתי נהנית לי שגנבה את כיסי ושהכתה את בני ונודע שלא גנבה ושלא הכתה

Rav Assi said: We do not attend {=grant absolution} for {vows} taken in {the Name of} the God of Israel. With the exception of "konam my wife any benefit she has of me, for she stole my purse or beat my child," and it becomes known that she did not steal and did not beat.

ההוא דאתא לקמיה דרב
א"ל במאי נדרת
א"ל באלהי ישראל
א"ל אי נדרת במוחי דהוי כנוי בעלמא מזדקיקנא לך השתא דנדרת באלהי ישראל לא מזדקיקנא לך
אמר רבא א"ר נחמן הלכה פותחין בחרטה ונזקקין לאלהי ישראל.

There was a man who came before Rav.
He said to him: By what did you vow?
He said to him: By the God of Israel.
He said to him: Had you vowed by Mohi, which is merely a nickname, I would deal with you. Now that you have vowed by the God of Israel, I will not deal with you.

Rava cited Rav Nachman: The halacha is that we release vows via regret and we deal with vows made by the God of Israel.

משתבח לי' רבא לרב נחמן ברב סחורה דאדם גדול הוא
אמר ליה כשיבא לידך הביאהו לידי
הוה ליה נדרא לדביתהו למשרי אתא לקמיה דרב נחמן
אמר ליה אדעתא דהכי מי נדרת
אמר ליה אין
אדעתא דהכי מי נדרת
אמר ליה אין
א"ל כמה זמנין ואקפד ר"נ וא"ל זיל לעקלך
נפק רב סחורה ופתח ליה פתח לנפשיה
רבי אומר איזהו דרך ישרה שיבור לו האדם כל שהיא תפארת לעושיה ותפארת לו מן האדם והשתא דאקפד ר"נ אדעתא דהכי לא נדרתי ושרי לנפשיה

Rava was praising Rav Sechora to Rav Nachman as a great man. He {=Rav Nachman} said to him: When he comes to your hand, bring him to me.
He {=Rav Sechora} had a vow of his wife {our gemara lacks "to his wife"} to release. He came before Rav Nachman.
He {=Rav Nachman} said to him: Did you vow based on this {in mind}?
He said to him: Yes. {and thus the petach was not a valid one}
{He said to him:} Did you vow based on this?
He said to him: Yes.
He said to him this many times, and {finally} Rav Nachman became upset and said to him "Go to your room {for I cannot absolve you}."
Rav Sechora went and absolved himself {as follows}:Rabbi said: What it the straight path which a person should choose? Whatever is glory {honor} to he who does it and brings him glory from mankind." And now that Rav Nachman has become upset, I did not vow with this intent.
And so he absolved himself.

ר"ש ברבי ה"ל נדרא למשרי אתא לקמייהו דרבנן א"ל נדרת אדעתא דהכי א"ל אין אדעתא דהכי א"ל אין כמה זמנין והוו מצערי רבנן משמשא לטולא ומטולא לשמשא
א"ל בטנית בריה דאבא שאול בן בטנית מי נדרת אדעתא דמצערי רבנן הכי אמר ליה לא ושריוהו.

Rabbi Shimon beRabbi had a vow to be released. He went before the Rabbis. They said to him: Did you vow with this intent? He said: Yes. "With this intent?" "Yes," many times.
{Nedarim 23a}
And the Rabbis were aggravated from sun to shade and from shade to sun.
Batnit son of Abba Shaul ben Batnit said: Did you vow with intent to aggravate the Rabbis such. He said "no," and they absolved him.

רבי ישמעאל בר' יוסי ה"ל נדרא למשרי
א"ל מי נדרת אדעתא דהכי
א"ל אין כמה זימנין
כיון דחזי ההוא קצרא דהוו מצערי רבנן מחייה באוכלא דקצרא
אמר אדעתא דמחי לי קצרא לא נדרי ושרי ליה לנפשיה

Rabbi Yishmael beRabbi Yossi had a vow to be absolved.
They said to him: Did you vow with this intent?
He said "yes," many time.
Once a certain fuller saw that he was aggravating the Rabbis, he hit him with a fuller's basket. "He said: With intent that a fuller beat me, I did not vow," and he released himself.

א"ל רב אחא מדפתי האי נולד הוא דלא אסיק אדעתיה דמחי ליה קצרא ותנן אין פותחין בנולד
א"ל לאו נולד הוא דשכיחי אפיקורי דמצערי רבנן.

Rav Acha of Difti said {objected}: This is nolad {for this comes into being now, or rather it is unexpected}, for it never arose from him mind that a fuller would beat him, and we learn {tnan} we do not give nolad as an opening.
He said to him: This is not nolad, for it is expected that Epikorites {scoffers} vex the Rabbis.

דביתהו דאביי הו"ל ברתא היא אמרה לקריבי והוא אמר לקריבי
אמר לה תתסר הנאתי עלך אי עברת אדעתי ומינסבא לקריבך עברה דעתיה ואתנסיבא לקריבה
אתא לקמיה דרב יוסף
א"ל אילו ידעת דעברה אדעתך ומנסבת לקריבה מי אדרתה
א"ל לא ושריה רב יוסף

The wife of Abaye had a daughter. She {=the wife} said that {the daughter would be married} "to my relatives," and he said "to my relatives." He said to her: My benefit shall be forbidden to you if you violate my wish and marry her to your relatives. She violated his wishes and married her off to her relative. He came before Rav Yosef.
He {=Rav Yosef} said to him: If you had known that she would violate your wishes and marry her off to her relative, would you have vowed?
He said "no," and Rav Yosef released him.

ומי שרי כה"ג
אין
והתניא מעשה באחד שהדיר את אשתו מלעלות לרגל ועלתה לרגל ובא מעשה לפני ר' יוסי א"ל אילו ידעת שעוברת על דעתך ועולה לרגל כלום נדרת אמר לו לא והתירו רבי יוסי:

And do we release in such an instance? Yes. And it was taught {in a brayta}: There was an incident with one who forbade his wife by vow from making a pilgrimage for the Festival, and she went on pilgrimage to the festival. And the incident came before Rabbi Yossi. He said to him: Had you known that she would violate your wishes and go on a pilgrimage to the Festival, would you have ever vowed? He said to him "no," and Rabbi Yossi released him.

רבי אליעזר ב"ר יוסי אומר אף הרוצה להדיר וכו' וכיון שאמר כל נדר שאני עתיד לידור יהא בטל לא שמע ליה ולא אתי בהדיה חסורי מחסרא והכי קתני הרוצה שיאכל חבירו אצלו ומסרב

"Rabbi Eliezer beRabbi Yossi {our Mishna: beRabbi Yaakov} said: Also one who wishes to subject to a vow {his friend to eat with him}, etc.":
And since he said "any vow which I will in the future vow will be nullified," he {=his friend} will not listen to him and will not come to him!
{Nedarim 23b}
The language is deficient, and this is what it means to say: If one wishes his friend to eat by him, and he urges him,